Welcome

by Lola de Hanna

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1.
03:47
Welcome to my mental unease the tangents of the mind that come and go as they please welcome to my spontaneity to overwhelming moodiness that'll surely bring you to your knees welcome to my creativity the one that's helped me create the world that lives in me welcome to my dreams (my delusions they will save me my delusions they will save me) reality checks and the sort are highly overrated I live my life with with defenses just so I don't hate it I try to connect but my personal experiences they keep me stuck on all the lies that my mind says so welcome to my dreams welcome to my dreams welcome to my dreams welcome to my dreams welcome to feeling alone like a queen one day a servant the other welcome to the discomfort and all the other feelings that smother welcome to the perfect fusion of clear insight and delusion welcome to my dreams welcome to
2.
There's sadness in your eyes because you want this to be more than what it is but it can't and when we touch it's just a dream but I feel it, I'm right there with you and so is every other feeling like, the grief of what's not the frustration of not having the lust that feels like love the nurturing that's one sided the gut wrenching guilt that burns me in my stomach and the endlessly flowing tears that pull me down and drown me oh, oh, oh there's other ways around this and you and I can make it work the distance is no barrier I'm not running out of hope maybe someday there will be more ways for us to communicate but now, this is all we've got this and the tears that drown me oh, oh, oh there's sadness in your eyes because you want this to be more than what it is but it can't and when we touch it's just a dream but I feel it, I'm right there with you
3.
It's our time to take the masks off and be ourselves it's our time to leave these four walls say what's on our minds and fan the flames that have been burning it's our time to laugh out loud to inhibitions it's our time it's our time it's our time oh.. there's a fine line between respect and self-preservation let's decide to mix the two and color outside the line let's bring the two parts into one it'll be fine we'll trust each other and work it out cause it's our time it's our time it's our time oh tell me what do we have to lose?
4.
Mmmm, mmm,mmm Where did, where did we leave off and when did we turn the page? We failed to notice the big difference between what's right and our self-interest the anxiety is making my heart race. Mmmm, mmm, mmm Ha, so think back to all those dark nights lying cold, on the hardwood floor. You thought you were onto something good that you had a well-kept secret hidden from the rest of the world you never doubted that it was true and now we're looking for proof that we existed trying to remember, to remember our way through life oh through life. a place of fire in your hear one you kept secret from the start a place of fire slowly burning, fire slowly burning credits
5.
I'm thinking back to a collectivistic society thinking back to all the things that once were suppressed in me thinking back to self-rejecting and poorly guided attitudes feeling bad for the girl with a dream a dream that was misunderstood I was afraid to be myself until I felt more fear as someone else been around the block a few times baby once or twice, not too many but enough to know I don't need to hide enough to know I don't need to hide from the, things that make me feel alive the things that make me breath and cry no, I know, I don't need to hide from all the things I'm holding inside, oh, oh I still re, I still remember stifled self-expression oh, what a shame the victim sometimes becomes the perpetrator and the one to blame how lucky, I made it out with a scar or two all things I could bear important lessons that I've learned and I will implement them I swear oh, I swear been around the block a few times baby once or twice, not too many but enough to know I don't need to hide enough to know I don't need to hide from the, things that make me feel alive the things that make me breath and cry no, I know, I don't need to hide from all the things I'm holding inside, oh, oh
6.
I must admit, I wasn't really surprised I had this nagging feeling that It all would fall apart, come crashing down I'll keep it real, my heart was broken in half but everyday of my life has been about recovering from some kind of aftermath Is this the end my love? Is this the end my love? No, I won't lie I thought it might come to this It was a stalemate for a while and you, you found the strength to call it for what it is but it still hurts you know, I do miss your face so now I'm using up the skills I have to deal with all the feelings I must displace caught between relief and denial caught between acceptance and disbelief driving myself crazy trying to make some sense of this caught between relief and denial caught between acceptance and disbelief driving myself crazy trying to make some sense of this Is this the end my love? Is this the end my love? caught between relief and denial caught between acceptance and disbelief driving myself crazy trying to make some sense of this caught between relief and denial caught between acceptance and disbelief driving myself crazy trying to make some sense of this make some sense of this Is this the end my love?
7.
03:29
And after everything everything that has gone on all that cannot be undone I just want you to know that I'm still here the world outside defines it requires, it restricts it imposes, it persists but in spite of it all yes, in spite of it all I'm still here I'm still here a phonecall away I'm still here what's in my heart hasn't changed please take care of yourself please remember to take breaks to forgive your own mistakes and if you find it hard I will be here I'm still here a phonecall away I'm still here what's in my heart hasn't changed

about

Written and performed by Lola de Hanna
Produced by Pascal Perrin and YZ Music
Mastering by Minorstep
Vocals recorded at Soundworks Recording Studios

credits

released July 16, 2018

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about

Lola de Hanna New York, New York

Born in Greece, Lola came to NY to study psychology and followed the dream of writing, recording and performing music.
After 5 years of cowriting and performing with other musicians and producers she released a sample of her own work, The Other Side, in the form of an EP.
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